As young girls some of us grew up watching all these princess movies. Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Beauty and the Beast and others, and with all those princess movies we saw that at the ending they all found their princes and lived happily ever after. That's the life we all dreamt of as young children. And as we grew older we started watching more grown up movies. Romantic Comedies. With the same story-line as the princess movies. Girl meets boy, they go through struggle but live happily together in the ending. After which we unconsciously begin to form up this idea in our minds that we must find our 'Perfect Man' so that we can live happily ever after too.
By that being said, the other day I had a conversation with a friend about who our 'Perfect Guy' was and it made me think. Is there really a perfect guy? Men are normal human beings. They are all different with different characteristics and personalities. They all have flaws. Why are we (Women) so preoccupied on finding the 'Perfect Guy'? I mean dont get me wrong, I myself have created and fantasized over what I think to be my perfect guy. He had to be taller than me, deep voice, curly hair, nice smile and he has to be the embodiment of a romantic comedy. That was my perfect guy. But I realized I focused on the wrong things because, what if I found him and he turned out to be a douch bag? Dream, Squashed! Now let's put some thought into this. What if we do find our perfect guy, what made us believe that we are the perfect girl that he's looking for? Dream, Squashed! Here's what I think. What if we are suppose to find a normal man that will lead us and love us. All that extra stuff is just that. Extra. It isn't what we are suppose to look for in a man. We are suppose to look for a man to protect us. A man to lead us. A man that can make good decisions for our family. A man that is patient, because he will have to be for when we get pregnant and our hormones are all over the place. A loyal man that sees only his family and how he can make them happy. A man who strives to succeed but needs you by his side because he doesn't want to succeed alone. A man that will empower you. That's the kind of men we need and should look for. All that extra special stuff is just stuff he will do because he appreciates you for being there for him. As I get older I cant help but think about the friends that I had, and the friends that I have and one thing rings in my head. It was the words of my Personal Development teacher in College. She said, "Some of the friends that you had in high school and even some of the friends you make here in College are not gonna be your friends when you get older." At that point in time, hearing her words, I disagreed with her. I was fresh out of high school. Still had all of my friends and I felt like we were close enough to stay really close friends for life. Then life happened and years passed and I opened my eyes one day and was hit with the reality that those friends that I once had, was no longer close to me like we were. I was forced to realize that some people change, but not necessarily for the worst, but for the betterment of themselves. I was also forced to realize that some people stay stagnant and if I want to grow and be successful and happy I need to stray a bit and find myself outside of the person I was before.
Growing up, you will come to realize that there are some people that will only want to be in your life to constantly remind you of the person you were. You will come to realize that in order to move on and be a better you, you will have to drop things or people that's purpose in your life is holding you back to the place where you are trying to be free from. You come to realize that it is stressful trying to motivate, encourage and help others who do not want to help themselves. But on the other hand, you will realize that there are people that, even though they do not talk to you everyday, if you need help in anything or advice in anything, they got your back. Realize that there are people that will not stand back and watch you struggle but will offer any assistance necessary to help you get back on your feet. One thing I've realized about life is that I need people on my team who are about empowerment. Helping each other to be successful. Motivating each other when we feel like giving up. Encouraging each other. Helping each other the best way that we can when we can because we genuinely want to see each other do well. Empowerment is greatly important to me. When I was younger I thought that friends were just people I can vent to, laugh with and go out with. But as I got older, the definition of a friend has become more advanced. You can talk to, laugh with and go out with anyone. But the friends I need on my team are the people I can grow with, learn with and struggle with. Yes. Everyone does have their own opinion on what love is, some may say its the warm feeling in your heart whenever you think about that special person or knowing you can trust someone wholeheartedly or even being able to give the last slice of your favorite pizza to that person and much more. Remember, everybody is different so for each person the definition is totally different. Some people might say he beats me so he cares or that means that he's paying attention to me enough to see that I'm doing something "wrong", others might not see "bae" in three weeks..BUT he got my bank account full, everyday I'm getting flowers on the job, purses, shoes, bags, sooo he got to love me...right? Or some women might accept cheating...WHY? Because he say he don't love her like he love me...it's just sex...but with me is so much more...does that make it acceptable? I found myself in the same predicament already where I said I love you...Why? I have no idea...could have been the way I felt when I'm around him (i.e. butterflies in my stomach...rapid heart rate.. images of us getting married...having kids..growing old together... thoughts of him consuming you all day everyday)...then slowly but surely the images fade...the thoughts come once in a blue moon... you can go days without hearing his voice and you're OK with that...but you still can't let go...you try...convince yourself that you don't need him...you could find somebody better...u could do better...but you really can't...or is it that you just don't want to?
The funny thing about it is when this time does come, it happens so fast that you don't even know when it happens... but...how soon is to soon to be so dependent on another person for happiness? You think if you never bring yourself to reach to this point the relationship will survive? or will it crumble before it even begins? and do you think that if you don't make yourself mentally, physically or emotionally available... when it does fall apart it will be easier to bare? In reality everybody is in love with the thought of being in love...fairytale wedding and all... but nobody wants to be the one to say I LOVE YOU first..fear of rejection perhaps? or maybe uncertainty...the feeling could be strong like...is anybody really in love? I don't think anyone would really know because at the end of the day nobody really knows what love is...so they just go off of what love is to them.. So.....What is love? To You? |
AuthorHey. For the moment I prefer to remain unknown. Just know that I am a regular person just like you who go through some of the same things. ArchivesCategories |